It’s good to like one. The problem is that the other person already has a lover. If you like it in your heart, you will Becoming a beautiful relationship, if you do not exercise restraint, may cause a lot of trouble. I also like a colleague in my unit, but I never showed it. Strike back from the cliff and turn your head back early. There are so many men. As the saying goes, "There is no fragrant grass anywhere in the end of the world." Transferring away from that is not the door, don't stay together every day, spend more time with colleagues. Reluctant to part with love. Look at him objectively, don't always magnify his strengths, you will find that he is also an ordinary person, go on a trip, change your mood, meet new friends, so that you don't always indulge in it. Furthermore, if he really loves you, he will consider you and not embarrass you. If he just wants your love blindly, then he is selfish and not worth your effort. You'd better change your job, otherwise the longer the time, the more disadvantaged you will be. What kind of dessert is it when you meet outside?
Girlfriend Lin is a pioneer in our circle of friends. When she first got married, she told us that she had a family agreement with her husband, which is to agree to date each other with a heterosexual partner, in their words There must be freedom in marriage, which is conducive to the growth of marriage. It's not that someone once said: "Let him be free, if he loves you, he will always come back to you." But when Lin really saw her husband dating other women, she was still heartbroken. As for Lin, she also encountered embarrassment several times. The man who dated her originally had a good conversation, but when the other party asked for further affection, Lin immediately refused. As a result, the other party was puzzled: "If it is not for sex, Why do you want to date someone"? Husband’s troubles are similar to hers. The result is that the family rules are easier said than done, and after a while, Lin and her husband feel that each other is more suitable for them, so they don’t date others anymore. What Lin tells us in the end is the conclusion of experience: no matter what attraction the woman (man) outside is, it is nothing more than the same. In the entire forest, this tree is the best after all, and it is worth giving up other trees for it.
Modern life is becoming more and more open. We are all living in temptation and temptation. To what extent can we be "free" so that we will not derail? Will not hurt the marriage, hurt the other half?
An affair is a dessert. Regardless of whether the meal is full or not, few people can resist the temptation of dessert. In the process of growing up, we only love one person in our entire life, and we are enshrined at the highest point of love, which is realistic Yes, many people waver between yearning for stability and longing for freedom.
As a result, some people live in marriage to obtain a sense of stability on the one hand, and on the other hand, they are constantly looking for freshness. Even if the flesh is not derailed, it is inevitable that they will have a spiritual affair, and their emotional life will always be fresh. live. But fish and bear's paw can't have both. No one can really do everything in between a stable hotbed and the excitement of walking a tightrope.
Because firstly no one will really tolerate their partner cheating; secondly, even if the cheating party is themselves, few people can make affair a commonplace with nerves and strength, and there is no self-condemnation and sin from the heart. sense. Just like the man who fell into an extramarital affair in "A Sigh", he is not human on both sides, and his life and spirit are in a breakdown. He bitterly warns men who want to have an extramarital affair: Even if you encounter a fairy, you have to hold back, let alone what's the matter. fairy. Finally, ask yourself if you can play.
In fact, marriage is like putting a fuse in the relationship between two people. Both parties must give themselves a certain amount of freedom to each other, but not too free, otherwise the fuse will blow. There is a story in which a newly married woman told her husband sincerely: "I heard people say that having an affair is like having chickenpox. It is safe to have an affair, so I will give you an affair place, but you must let me know." Her husband answered very wisely: "A few decades later, I am dying of old age, but before I breathe, I stretched out a finger at you. No one else knows what's going on. Only you understand what I mean. I haven't used it yet."- One gives each other space within a certain limit, and the other shows a good attitude of self-discipline, which is a benign relationship between husband and wife.
If you love each other, mutual bondage is also a kind of happiness, because This shows that you care about each other and care about each other. If you say that restricting the other's freedom too much will suffocate a relationship, then excessive indulgence will also cool down the relationship. Just like Zhang Xinzhe sings in "Overfire": "How can you blame you for committing crimes" It’s wrong, I’ve given you freedom over the fire".
Marriage has developed to this day, and perhaps a truly good marriage relationship can no longer be affirmed and promised by a marriage certificate alone. Couples need to be restrained. But good constraints must not come from the system and the law, but from feelings and sense of responsibility. Although marriage should not be a "prisoner" relationship between captives, a certain degree of interdependence is still necessary. The key to maintaining a sense of scale lies in each other. The trust and self-discipline of both parties. If the "prisoner" had no intention of escape and was willing to spend his life in love jail, the "jailer" would not have to handcuff him and guard him nervously. In this way, the marriage prison would naturally no longer exist.
The bottom line of an affair
Once, I chatted with a few young women who have been married for more than four years. After chatting, they talked about marriage and men. Sadly, my own man never wanted to be in love with his wife. At this time, A woman who is most satisfied with her husband said: Hey, do you want to have an affair? We have not recovered from listening to it for a long time, but my heart suddenly becomes itchy.
Nowadays, the text about affair is overflowing. In the disaster, women all over the world seem to be busy having affair, which can be seen from the rising number of authority. However, women’s affair is fundamentally different from men. Men’s upper and lower bodies can be viewed separately, even if they don’t. If you like it, you will be entangled with it for some reason. Women have to feel a little bit before they can meet.
This is destined to be more tiring than men when having an affair. Their affair has a bottom line. And to what extent does this limit fluctuate and shift? Is it spiritual or physical? Or something else?
One of the affair views: between husband and another man, look for a subtle fulfillment
First of all, I declare that I am not a moral defender, so for me, the bottom line of an affair is that both parties benefit, and no one should trouble anyone. To put it bluntly, just don’t expect the other party to divorce, nor allow the other party to impose it on me. Pressure. I can’t like it any more.
I believe that a considerable part of women have affair not because they can’t live their lives (you can get divorced), but because they feel a certain kind of insufficiency, which may be the same as men. . The difference is that men are not so strict about their foreign encounters. Women are not good, she must be "seen" to get along with each other.
Her own man is also very good, but he is not as careful as before. There are no all kinds of heart-warming passions, and some are just days. Almost every day makes people almost no desire to talk. More often, you will feel that he is your own shadow, your siblings, and living habits rely on Disturb , The time of sex has become regular, and the interval is getting longer and longer.
At this time, women are also beginning to feel uneasy. At this time, if someone of the opposite sex who is interested in themselves and can talk about it appears, it is indeed exciting for women.
Generally speaking, a woman having an affair is a psychological affirmation. The things that disappeared from the husband were retrieved from the lover.
This is a delicate balance. We are all mortals, we all have only one life. As long as you don’t let the other party in your marriage know about it, everyone will not get hurt and you will have no burden, and you will love those around you. For a woman who demands perfection, this cannot but be said to be a relative completeness.
The second view of affair: Only an affair with no physical betrayal is easy
I am not an active practitioner of affair. I believe that there is also a very beautiful love in the relationship of an affair. It's just that people around you will treat you as a couple of dogs and men when they know it. In a country where Confucian culture has been inherited like China, women's affair is particularly heavy.
Seriously, I don't like the feeling of having an affair. The dark, invisible love can really get tired. If one day I fall in love with a man outside of marriage, I will divorce, even if I can only be his lover. I don't want my husband to forgive me and live with me carefully. That would be very unfair to him.
If I were to choose one, I would rather choose a spiritual affair, so that I would feel less guilty. In fact, my thoughts also represent the views of at least half of women. After all, women can't afford to play, so once an affair is blocked, women who have no physical betrayal when they return will have a lot less pressure.
The third point of view of affair: Love is the greatest bottom line
I was born in the 70s, so I don’t have that much sense of morality or guilt. For me, love is the greatestBottom limit. After all, an affair does not mean that you can meet each other, it also requires fate. Otherwise, why impress you and make you plunge into it again with a "grumbling" sound. And women are born for love, there is no love, there is no meaning to live.
Love is a woman’s weakness. Once you love you, you don’t understand anything. There are so many scenes of killing husbands for adulterers, and Pan Jinlian is a living example. But can you say that this is not a kind of love (it's just too extreme), otherwise, what power is it to let the little girl who has no power to hold her hands to kill her husband?
In a long marriage, who can guarantee that you will only love each other? A woman who uses too much love is not suitable for an affair, or she will cross the limit and cause earth-shattering bloody incidents.
What I want to say is: Woman, when jumping into the sea of affair, don't forget to hurt yourself less.
The fourth point of view of the affair: Women who have an affair should ensure that there is an unimpeded way home.
It is hard to clean up the mess if something is too big. I have a wait-and-see attitude that is greater than dedication to foreign affairs. Actually I am serious too. This kind of relationship is not fun if it is not serious.
Of course, this view only works for rational women. My husband and I have our own lovers. It's just tacit. Because the life of ten years of marriage is really exhausted and exhausted, but it is too expensive to be divorced. Because my son is already in the third grade of elementary school. We all love him.
In our city, there are some middle-aged couples who are well educated. Some of them advocate "swapping wives and husbands". They think this is safer, but they will not have an affair.
As far as I am concerned, I cannot accept this kind of game. So I chose an affair. He is an engineer I met on the Internet, and
His family is also very happy in the usual eyes. When we met for the first time, I had a feeling that there would be a story with him.
Sure enough, our Guanshi is developing very smoothly, and we have that kind of Guanshi. It was a fascinating feeling. We met once a week to chat and make love when two people were relatively busy. But be sure to let both lovers have a convincing reason.
My husband had an affair two years ago. I don't know if he knows it, but I actually do. But he did not reduce his love for me and his son. The days when he should be at home and the days when he should have sex with me, he is committed to him, and he treats us better for this reason. So, I never asked. I think his affair is also a respectable privacy. I thought at the time that if I had an affair, he should not ask, because he knew what was going on. At least up to now, he hasn't treated me a bit badly.
I think that when a woman has an affair, she must figure out whether you can find a way home. If you can't find it, you have to see if you can afford to lose, otherwise, don't disturb this muddy water.
Nowadays, the world is full of men who have affair. They always need opponents, and quite a few of these opponents are married women.
The number of women’s affair is increasing and changing after entering the 21st century, right? People's tolerance for foreign encounters is increasing? However, gender and marriage determine the pros and cons of these married women's affair, which is a bit hesitant and not thorough enough.
Conclusion: We don’t need to psychologically determine whether a woman has an affair. Most women’s affair is when they are frustrated with their current feelings. And many of them are not full of enjoyment in this kind of relationship, but there are always nameless blanks to accompany them. If there are no children, maybe the guilt is not so heavy, but if you add a mother's title in addition to being a wife, the first thing that women think is whether they make their children too embarrassed.
So women who have committed an affair are not so happy compared to men. Even if they are happy, they will not enjoy it like men. A man's involvement in an affair is an affair, and a woman sometimes wants to turn the affair into a new emotional shore.
There is nothing wrong with liking someone, but you like a man who is not qualified to talk about love, because he not only likes you, but also his family and wife. Loving someone should always love her wholeheartedly, but he doesn't seem to be such a person.
So, please carefully consider your relationship with him and don't get stuck.
09-11-24 | Add Comment | Reward
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