Today’s topic: Parents’ invisible "cold violence" is the deadliest to children’s growth
I don’t know if you have counted. How many times a day do you perform "cold violence" on your child? Some parents may say: "How is it possible that I have such a rare activity every week! Because we often use unconscious cold violence to deal with communication with children.
For example: When your child seeks your attention and you are busy using your phone, your child’s needs are excluded. In addition, when your child gets a full score in the exam and shares it with you, your answer is “Don’t be proud. A full score in the exam does not mean you can get a full score in each exam. The full score in your class must be more than You."
When a child shares something that he thinks is very interesting, you will communicate with him in a perfunctory way, which is also a kind of cold and violent behavior. Parents are often unaware of the cruel violence their children are subjected to. Such violence is very harmful to their children, especially their physical and mental health.
Dingding came home and was happy to share with his mother the spring trip to the zoo over the weekend, but his mother happened to be holding a mobile phone to handle some things. Tintin's mother stretched out some left and right ears, and there was an answer, which made the child very upset. The child was not sure whether the mother heard the news clearly, so she repeated the arrangement of the event many times. Tintin's mother replied impatiently: "I see! I understand!" The child looked at his mother, shook his head and returned to the room.
As a result, my mother did not go on a weekend spring trip. The teacher didn't say anything to the child, so he called his parents, but the parents said they didn't know anything about it. They hurried to the kindergarten to meet the children. The child said: "I've said it no less than 10 times. Did you hear me clearly? I'm not your daughter, and your phone is!"
1. Ignore the child’s behavior
This is the most common form of cold violence in family education, and it is also the least susceptible to cold violence. For parents, it is very important to accompany their children effectively during their growth. While giving children ample living conditions, they should also be given enough time to communicate with them. For example: children are playing with toys next to us. We don’t need to be deeply involved, just keep paying attention. When we discover that children have created innovative gameplay, we will communicate with them in time, show due attention, and form a good interaction. Children who grow up in this environment will be very safe and happy in the future, and parents who ignore every moment of their children's growth will also miss many good times.
2. The child does not answer
When children encounter something they find interesting or like, they always share it with their parents as soon as possible. For example: Qian Qiang caught a praying mantis on the grass and ran to his father happily, "Dad, father, what is this? It has weapons, such a weird mistake!" At this time, my father's mobile phone was playing some kind of scene. During the competition, his eyes are on the screen, and his hands are quickly operating various martial arts, and he has no response to the children. Think about it from another angle. However, the boss is staring at the computer and watching the stock market. What will happen to this father's mood? In the future, will children have so much enthusiasm for such a father?
3. Always perfunctory children
Children are sensitive individuals. If adults always treat children in a perfunctory manner, then children may fall into two extremes. One is to become more silent, the other is to lose your temper and throw things to get the attention of adults. Each method is not conducive to the growth of the child. If parents cheer on the fire and scold their grumpy children, it is estimated that the problem will be even greater.
1. Disgust to parents
For a long time, children have been treated harshly and violently by their parents. He will also get along with his parents in this way, and the family atmosphere will become hostile and indifferent. Family is the basic source of security and happiness in the process of children's growth.When he does not feel the warmth and love of his family, the child will not have the expectations of his family in his heart. Parents’ teachings will also be regarded as poisonous arrows that hurt the ears. Through the brain will only stimulate the courage of children to fight their parents.
2. The child becomes irritable and irritable
Parents expressed patience with their children and even criticized this sentence. If children are dissatisfied with their hearts, they may become irritable and irritable. This parenting method implies children. There is a child in the community who is known for his bad temper. It's easy to get irritated when playing with other children's children. If he doesn't move, he will fight with other children. Later, he learned that his parents often quarrel in front of their children, and that in the middle of the night, neighbors may be awakened by the noise at home. Who do you say is annoying and indignant?
3. Lonely personality, like someone
Children who grow up for a long time under the cold and violence are prone to develop a lonely character and gradually become lonely, which is not conducive to the social growth of the child. Duoduo is 10 years old this year. He always likes to be alone at school. His heart is sensitive and fragile. The children are reluctant to play with him because he is boring. The long-term silence and loneliness made the ten-year-old child look more mature, but his energy was also reduced. Later, we learned that this was caused by the child's lack of parental care and company.
1. More interaction with children
Children like to play, outdoor sports and parent-child travel are very good choices, especially for families with poor parent-child interaction. Outdoors, everyone can relax their work and stress, put down their mobile phones, and increase concentration and interaction with children. We will find that children are actually very interesting and full of energy.
There was a father who took a 4-year-old child to climb a mountain. The mountain is not high, but it is difficult for a 4-year-old child to climb it. The point is that it was still raining heavily that day. When the family reached the top of the mountain, even though they were wearing raincoats, their entire bodies were soaked, but this experience cultivated the child's tenacious qualities, and later encountered some difficulties. If this father needs to tell him this situation, then he is right. I am full of confidence.
2. Be more patient with children
Many parents and children do not communicate well, not because we do not understand the skills and abilities of communication, but because we lack patience. People often say that raising children is an opportunity for us to cultivate and grow up. Children’s language systems and social experiences may not be able to understand the deeper meaning of adults. Sometimes it will break the casserole and demand the end. At this time, we should not fight for the benefit of the children, but should be patient enough to answer and answer one by one. When you are unable to answer, you can search for information online to find it. If we do live hand in hand, we can clearly tell the child that we will finish the game after being busy and wait for him to play, and the child will usually understand.
3. Create a harmonious and warm family atmosphere
A good family atmosphere is very helpful to the healthy growth of children. Therefore, a good relationship between husband and wife is the basis of a good parent-child relationship. How to create a harmonious and warm family atmosphere, the most important thing is to have love in the family, between husband and wife, between children, and between parents and children. This atmosphere makes your child’s life easier and easier to express. There will be no persistent bad emotions in your heart, and your child’s laughter will often fill your small family.
In the name of love, we must be patient and careful, have effective companionship, have good parent-child interactions, and reduce children’s chances of cold violence. Sometimes, we did not notice ourselves, but it caused great harm to our children. We all hope that when children grow up in love and care, they must observe carefully and actively communicate. I believe that under our care and care, children will become healthier and happier.
asks every day: Did you inadvertently inflict cold violence on your child?